toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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