I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
