Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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