I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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