You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
