Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
