oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
