he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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