whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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