Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
