I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
last night I used snow as a chaser
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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