I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
