My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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