i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
They have beer where we have blood.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
