U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
