Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
