There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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