She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You need a sexual gate keeper
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
