Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize