i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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