so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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