i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
