So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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