I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Still dying that you shit outside
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
