I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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