If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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