Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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