Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
