I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
handjob tips. give me some.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
