weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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