i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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