dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
