You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize