Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
try to milk me bitch
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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