U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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