You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
