she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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