Jerry, you need to find god
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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