is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
