I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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