The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
