I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
