No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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