I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
