how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
