Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
