i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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