I never want to see another naked old woman again.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
