your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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