Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
