he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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