I bet he comes in French.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize