You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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