let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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