He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
