I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize
