My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
