There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
