If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
