Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
