cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
