he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
