youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
